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She had submitted to me. She needed to be totally committed. She needed me to be totally committed, as well. We both knew I wasn't, and thus there was still an element of fear in her submission. She was not afraid that I would intentionally harm her. She knew that if I ever did harm her physically, I would curl up and die of shame and guilt. What she feared was that I would hurt her unintentionally, and not just physically. That was because in terms of what we were entering into, I was just plain stupid and ignorant. I had no idea of her limits. I didn't know the path, as Amud called it, or where it went or why.I was determined to change that. I had to take away her fear — and my own terror, as well. To do that, I had to 'experience the path' myself, as Amud had said. It had taken me a long time to figure out what he meant. I may be slow, but I get there eventually. It took even longer to admit to myself that I could do what he meant. But I think I had always known what I would have. Look at you, everybody is looking at you and you become so excited. You cheap slut may actually earn me some money. Now, move your right middle finger onto your sissy clit. You can only masturbate by rubbing yoruself with this finger. If you cannot cum, you cannot cum tonight again. Now, do it." she said.Being horny for a evening, I rub on my sissy clit without saying anything. I randomly move my hips as I try to cum with this one finger."Ummmmmm..." I moaned as I found the pleasure point. I rub on the spot as I continue moving my hips. I felt ashamed, but at the same time, excited. I am masturbating like a nasty little slut in front of so many people on stage, moaning like no tomorrow.Suddenly, I felt something plugging into my sissy hole. "Thank you mistress, thank you, ummmmmmm..." I moaned, as I realized she was starting to fuck me with the anal plug.I rubbed my sissy clit and move my hip faster and faster."Ah... o... ahhhh.... um.... ahhhhhhhhhhahahah......." I cum.She plugged.
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