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She smoothed the wrinkles out, tugging the almost-see-thru material tauter and emphasising her assets even more. She looked up at me, catching me staring, and smiled her winning smile.There was a long five minutes of silence, dragging out and punctuated only by my sips from my tea. We had no music on, no TV on, nothing. Even the traffic noise from outside was quiet. The girls said nothing. I dared say nothing.My phone buzzed in my pocket. Welcoming the distraction, I fished it out of my pocket. It was a message from the taxi company saying my ride had arrived. It was already 9 pm.“I have to go, my taxi’s here,” I explained, as I jumped up.“I’ll go with you,” Charlie said, jumping up behind me.“Your moped?”“Will be fine.”She hustled me out, pulling the door closed behind us. The moment the door was shut she pulled on my arm and swung me around and pinned me against the walkway wall and kissed me full on the lips.It was like being hit by a freight train.The kiss grew, our hands. I think my neighbour is stalking me as she’s been Googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.Money talks ... but all mine ever says is good-bye.You’re not fat, you’re just easier to see.If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive, try missing a couple of payments.I always wondered what the job application is like at Hooters. Do they just give you a bra and say, “Here, fill this out?”I can’t understand why women are OK that JC Penny has an older women’s clothing line named, “Sag Harbor.”My therapist said that my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.My 60 year kindergarten reunion is coming up soon and I’m worried about the 175 pounds I’ve gained since then.Denny’s has a slogan, “If it’s your birthday, the meal is on us.” If you’re in Denny’s and it’s your birthday, your life sucks!The pharmacist asked me my birth date again today. I’m pretty sure she’s going to get me something.The location of your.
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