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Desire is. Everything is. He'd read up on it, of course, because that was what he did. "The heart and the mind... what an enigma." Charlie Chaplin had said that, but others said similar things. He was afraid to let Jennifer's love be a mystery.He told friends he feared desire and love just happened. That's what he had said when he and Jennifer had gone through their bad time. He knew you didn't choose your desires. For his part, he loved Jennifer but he wanted many women. Desire chose this one, or that one. Could Jen ever want someone else? She was certain of us, then she wasn't, now she is again. I don't think I can ever be certain of anything. That's not true. I'm certain I need her.He didn't tell Jen or anyone else that he fantasized all the time, that he had thoughts of what he could do with some woman, of how he could arrange it. He had to force the fantasies aside so he could work.There was a girl just today, a student, walking along the sidewalk. A summer day, nothing in. In the two years since being left alone, the two had become much closer as they became more dependent on each other. As they chatted away, the topic turned to boys. Sara asked her gorgeous daughter if she was interested in any of the boys at school. Debbie giggled, and said a few, but nothing was happening with anyone at the moment. Then Debbie looked at her mother and got an evil look on her face. ?How about you, Mom, any men in your life?? Sara sighed a heavy sigh and said, ?Unfortunately, no.? ?Really, Mom?? she questioned. ?It sounded like you were in ecstasy earlier this morning. I could hear you from my room. Sara instantly flushed with embarrassment.?Debbie! How could you? I’m so embarrassed!??Don’t sweat it, Mom. It’s ok. You deserve some fun. It’s been a long time since Dad left, and you hardly go out. I think it’s time for you to go out again and start looking for another man, one who will give you the things Dad didn’t. Maybe you can find that master guy.
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