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I didn't, of course, but that's how I felt about their awkward and shy come-ons.It was a fellow eighth-grader named Jessie who finally got my attention. He sat behind me in fifth hour English and he was staring at me the moment I entered the room. I watched him giggle with some of his friends and when I sat down he tapped me on my shoulder and said, "Hey, if I said you had a hot body would you hold it against me?"His friends laughed at the juvenile line, but I just grinned. "Sure," I said.My response surprised him. He was a grungy looking type of boy, the kind of dark-haired, banged up kid that was probably used to being suspended. I enjoyed his reaction to my casual reply. He stammered, "Uhh ... you know I meant ... hold your, uh..." ... my body, like my tits and all, against you? Yeah, I got that," I said, yawning. "And the answer is yes, if you tell me they're nice I'll hold them against you."Even his giggling friends shut up at that point. I allowed myself a soft, satisfied. She said that I was a monster." He smiledruefully at that. "Now I find that all this fine living, and goodcompany seems to have turned her into a monster in her turn." And time seems to have mellowed me, in some ways." I looked closely athim, and saw that he looked as sad as any man I have ever seen, andmore tired than I could believe. For a moment his face was nothing butjowls. The face of an old pit bull, remembering the pit. For theshortest moment I saw superimposed on his both the face of BomberHarris and underneath that, struggling to get out, the face of PaulRobeson. Suddenly, I was almost sorrier for him than I was scared ofhim."The mother wants you burned. First she wants to ... cause you greatpain... and then she wants you to burn. While still alive. Make it likean accident, she says. Make it like an accident."He shook his head, a bemused man of the world, astonished at the waysof women. "But this is not just. You have killed no one. And mydaughter too, is not entirely.
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