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"I just nodded. I couldn't say it surprised me, but then I hadn't given the matter too much thought; I'd tried not to, anyway."Every single day," he said, quietly, "I wake up and the first thing I do is look at myself in the mirror. The last thing I do before I go to sleep is pray to be changed. Every single day I..." he trailed off. This was a lot of effort for him, I could tell."I never wanted to be like this. I never asked to be different. I've wished I was straight, I've wished I was gay; I've wished I was fucking dead." He smiled, weakly. "None of it ever came true, of course. All I know is that when I look in the mirror I see someone I despise."I tried to interject, to tell him it wasn't all bad, but he interrupted me."You know what it's like? I watch other people - girls - talking to each other, talking to me, doing whatever, and it's like a knife in the fucking ribs. All these things I've wanted to be able to do my entire life, and they do them... so effortlessly. It. By this stage I was already almost unrecognisable from the boywho had woken up in bed that morning, but I knew there was plenty more tocome before we were ready to leave for the church."How you doin' Andy?" Gemma took time out from her own routine to checkup on me."Fine," I replied hesitantly."You look fab!" Gemma smiled, encouragingly.Penny then returned to the room and made the announcement Laura and Gemmain particular had been waiting for. "Ok Ladies, it's time for ourdresses! Follow me!"I stood up and followed the three other bridesmaids upstairs to the guestbedroom where our dresses were laid out ready for us.There were screams, gasps and giggles from the others as we all enteredthe bedroom, I remained quiet as I attempted to take it all in. Two ofthe dresses were laid out on the bed, the other two were hanging on theoutside of wardrobe doors. They were stunning, matching pastel pink ballgowns with large skirts and plenty of sparkle across the body. There werevarious other boxes.
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