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Youmake suggestions. I either listen to your 'suggestions' or I don't. I'mnot going to be ordered about. I was before and I NOT going to have ithappen ever again."Delarose realizes what he is doing, sits back "Yes okay--I did readyour notes, you don't like being ordered around. I understand that youhad a bad experiences with being ordered about." I stop him with a yell. "myar lu'lgarr uk tanaleth'u" 'I then remember'English' stupid!' (bad experience he says)He looks at me like I have lost it --and I near have."Bad experience you say?--LET me tell you what it was. All they had todo was say 'this is a command' and my free will was GONE! -Do you haveany idea what its like to sit in terror, helpless in the horror of yourown head? You can't do a thing, nothing to stop it! Then they tell youto do anything, they want too? From just plain killing, to horrificshit I want to forget-- BUT can't!" I sit back -"Sorry about that, lastnight in the Grove was a bit 'emotional' for me and its still. ” He smirked. “It’s really simple. You need to swim bloody fast and consistently. Then you do it repeatedly to go from districts to regionals to states. Then you get a shot at nationals. Is that enough?”“For now.”“For now? What happens after?”“Pan-Pacs.”“Why didn’t you lead off with that?”“Well, you said once that you have to finish the heats first. Gotta get to nationals before Pan-Pacifics.”“Fair enough.” He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. He looked at me for a long time, as if trying to make his mind up about something. He sat straighter in his chair, put his hands on the desk and spoke. “Look, I’ll level with you. You have potential. I’ve seen it, the other coaching staff have seen it too, but you’re inconsistent. Your application to training dry, training wet, your approach to swim meets...”“Well anyone can have bad days—” I began to protest. He held one finger up to stop me.“Weasel-words. Can you honestly say that you approach every race you’re entered in.
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