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Irving: Dec 22 On behalf of Santa Claus you are here-by notified of a restraining order. You will cease and desist further harassment of Mr. Claus or any of his enterprises. You are further notified of a pending suit for slandering Mr. Claus by suggesting that his legitimate business inquiries on sleeping children are some form of pedophilia. The last item is a charge of conspiracy by suggesting that he kidnap people. Respectfully,Elf and Elf Esquire-----Listen-up Fat Boy: Dec 23 Hey! Call off your lawyer dogs! This is supposed to be between you and me! Besides, I can get my own lawyers; they said they'd work pro-bono. (Something about a neglected Jewish childhood and its payback time?) Oh, come on Santa. You remember 1954? I didn't get the Schwin bike, but somebody in red was sure eating my mommy's cookies that night.Your pal,Bad Irving-----Dear Bad: Dec 24 Ho, ho, ho, of course you will get big boobs for Christmas!Ho, ho, ho,Santa Claus-----Dear Santa: Dec 26 Boy did you deliver!. I said "nothing — some water has fallen". Aunty brought a mopping cloth and wiped there. She said nothing and I felt very uneasy. I noticed her anger. She served my dinner wordlessly and even when I spoke out of necessity, she did not reply.In the night we were lying side by side and I could not tolerate her silence any more. I said "aunty — why you are keeping quiet?". She said "tell me what happened — don't lie". I told her everything. She remained silent and when I prompted her to speak, with a sigh she said "what I can say — you have done a terrible thing". I said "I am sorry — please help me". She said "repeatedly I told you not to do any nonsense with that girl — I also cautioned you several times — then why you were so careless with her?".I did not know what to say and in a weak voice said "perhaps Radha will not know it". Aunty shouted "are you a fool? — Why she will not know? — the minute she saw the girl's jutti removed and kept on the chair she would have understood it —.
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