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Should you feel that you do not receive enough SHIT, please bring this to the attention of your MP, who has been trained to give you all the SHITyou can handle.Sincerely,The Committee for Economic Value of Individual Lives (E.V.I.L.)PS - Due to recent budget cuts and the rising cost of electricity, gas and oil, as well as current market conditions, The Light at the End of the Tunnel has been turned off.This one is compliments of Alex G UN SurveyLast month, a world-wide telephone survey was conducted by the U.N.The only question asked was:-"Would you please give your honest opinion about possible solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world."The survey was a complete failure because:In Eastern Europe they didn't know what "honest" meant.In Western Europe they didn't know what "shortage" meant.In Africa they didn't know what "food" meant.In China they didn't know what "opinion" meant.In the Middle East they didn't know what "solution" meant.In South America and Russia they. I wokeup as I was being jostled as I was lying on the floor of a van.I could feel my hands and ankles were cuffed behind me so that I washog-tied. I was also tightly gagged. I tried not to attract attention asI looked around and saw three men in the van as well. I knew I was indeep shit. I was among other things an escape artist, and had lockpicksconcealed on my body in a few places, but I would still face three armedmen. I decided to bide my time until I knew more. One of them came backand saw I was awake and squeezed my breastforms through my sports braand T-shirt. It's a good thing they feel so real. He said, "you willgive us a lot of fun before you die for what you did to our gangfriends". These clowns were in for a hell of a surprise if I didn't getloose. I wasn't gay, and had no intention of letting this happen. Theytalked in Spanish of ungagging me and making me blow them and I knew Ihad to make a move. While they were preoccupied, I peeled some tape offof my wrist and got the.
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