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He sat for a moment looking at me, continuing to stroke my face. His hand moved from my face and then down to my top, clinging at the bottom of it and attempting to pull it up. I hesitated for a moment and moved away, “Sorry” I said, “We’re just moving too fast”. “Okay” he said, sitting on the bed looking nervous. I sat back down next to him and put my hand on his shoulder, looking at him and waiting for him to say something. “What do you want then?” he asked, seeming slightly annoyed. “I just want to be with you” I said, “Maybe we could hug or something”. He smirked and then looked at me “Okay” he said, placing his arms around me. I hugged him back and we lied down on the bed, still holding each other close. He was warm and comfortable and I felt scared that I would lose him. We continued to hug, snuggling in closer and closer. He ran his hands up and down the side of me and then under my top again. His hand came to my bra and he left it there, looking at me and waiting. Be back here tomorrow at noon.”Rivermeadow’s show schedule was always the same. Opening night was Friday, followed by a light reception in the hall off the lobby, where folks could mingle with the cast in costume. Saturday saw a matinee and final performance, followed by the cast party. Sunday, we strike the set and return to our miserable lives until the next show begins.The reception hall is a harshly bright room with white walls and white floors and a white table with some cheese and crackers and grapes on toothpicks and popcorn and coffee and a punchbowl full of what tasted like Hi-C. I shook hands with folks and smiled and wanted to get out of there and get to a bar and imbibe a bit.But then Cynthia walked up to me. Cynthia, my first real girlfriend after college. We dated for about 2 years before she gave up on me, realizing I wasn’t ever going to propose. I didn’t have my shit together back then (I barely do, now), and I was pretty shitty to her after she dumped me. We’d been.
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