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I guess you couldn't find someone else? ... a friend or relative or even a neighbor to take the seat?"The man shakes his head...... "No. They're all at the funeral."--A Cape Bretoner walked into a crowded local bar, waving his Colt 45 with an 8 shot clip and yelled,"Who in here has been screwing my wife?"A Newfie from the back of the bar yelled back,"You're gonna need more ammo!"WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP, AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH.AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX.WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T MISS THEM UNTIL THEY HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR ABOUT FORTY MINUTES.BY THEN, TO ADD TO THE AGGRAVATION, THEY HAD TO TRAVEL QUITE A DISTANCE BEFORE THEY COULD FIND A PLACE TO TURN AROUND, IN ORDER TO RETURN TO THE RESTAURANT TO RETRIEVE HER GLASSES.ALL THE WAY BACK, THE ELDERLY HUSBAND BECAME THE CLASSIC GROUCHY OLD MAN. HE FUSSED AND COMPLAINED, AND SCOLDED HIS WIFE. . fine... but now he’s pushing hard to make it a reality, making suggestions for a hook up, searching the net. That’s just sick. Is that love? Is that a marriage?” Helen stormed out of the living room and up the stairs.“ I’m sorry Gary, you didn’t have to hear all that shit. It’s between Helen and I. Hey, listen it may be a way to keep a relationship fresh, God knows mine got awfully stale awfully fast. At least the cheating goes on in the open. Maybe that’s not cheating at all. And, to tell you the truth, lots of men share that fantasy, especially if his wife is a stunner like Helen.”Gary stared at his glass then downed it in one quick gulp. “Listen Tommy, if you do convince her... I’m volunteering up front. You know I’ve always had the hots for Helen... cute little next door neighbour and all. Just don’t punch me in the mouth for suggesting it.”“Well, Gary it ain’t gonna happen... probably just as well. The idea turns me on but I’ve always been crazy jealous of Helen. I would.
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