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”“Uh,” the Stranger began. “Don’t you mean ‘tarred’ and feathered?”“Do we look rich enough to keep ‘tar’ laying around? No, we turded him.” The townsfolk nodded in agreement.“Well, alright then. My name is Buster Gonad. And these here, these boys in the wheelbarrow, they are my testicles.”The crowd looked at each other in amazement and disgust.Jim looked on with distrust. “These are two dead skinned deers. Look, if I hit them--”And he did. He slapped a testicle hard.Buster shrieked like a little girl and fell partially over backwards. Only partially because he couldn’t stray too far from his balls in the wheelbarrow. His face blanched, and the men recognized the look. Yep, they agreed, em r testicles.Arnold the Austrian pronounced, “Eet’s probably a toomah!”“It’s not a toomah! I mean, It’s not a tumor. These are my balls, they’ve been growing ever since my dream.”All the men covered their wives’ eyes as they realized how disgusting this was. Marla Hoople found a large blanket and. I was living two lives. On weekdays and some weekends, I was a responsible Mom taking care of my two wonderful boys. On weekends that they were gone, however, I would drink to excess, partying with younger people and looking for as much sex as I could get. In fact, on the night of my crash, I was a passenger in the car of a man that I had been at a bar with. We were on the way to his house to fuck when it happened. It was a dangerous balancing act that almost ended tragically.While I was in the hospital, a wave of guilt came over me. My sons almost lost their Mother because of my irresponsible behavior. It upset me greatly and I vowed to modify my lifestyle. Other things have occurred as well that actually benefited me. My friend Debbie sold her house and moved to Florida. Her daughter Krista then lived with me for about two years, which was a great help. She helped me with my kids, shopping and other things while I recovered. She also helped run my spa. She now lives on her own but.
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