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Neither one of us slept much, if at all, my shoulder constantly throbbed. Her cuts and bruises would heal, but her feet …, they concerned me. We were glad when daylight brightened the room. We visited the outdoor toilet and returned her to the cot afterwards to look at her feet. The swelling had increased and I saw more infection. I took the knife and opened some puss pockets, letting them drain. Another whisky bottle was used to soak them again, she screamed, but toughed it out. ‘Your feet are bad. What did he do to you?’ ‘He was sadistic. I never saw his face, was always blindfolded. Once or twice each day he’d talk dirty like he’d rape me or have me do sexual favors with him. Nothing happened, it was only talk. Then he’d beat me but mostly my feet. I don’t even know why.’ ‘Do you know how long you were held before I came along?’ ‘I lost count of the time, three weeks maybe. I don’t know for sure. Little food, no bathroom. He let me wallow in it.’ ‘How’d you wind up here?’ ‘I had. But, I do think about sex with a man. It turns me on, but it's a fantasy. I honestly don't know if I would ever act on it. "But what you aren't considering is that most of the sites I've visited, most of the movies I've watched are all bisexual in nature. What turns me on about this fantasy is that you are there with me, that you are a participant. I fantasize about you being turned on by this, by you convincing me to do this", I said."How long have you had these desires, Joe?" Jada asked me."I don't really know, Jada. I can remember having these fantasies since about the time we got married" I said. "But I can't say for sure that I didn't have these fantasies back in high school or college." Is it because of me? Do you not love me anymore?" she asked."No, absolutely not! I love you as much now, as I did when we got married. I don't have any emotional attachment to the men I fantasize about, hell, I don't even imagine the faces of the men when I have these fantasies. I really can't.
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