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? About six months ago I wasn?t feeling toogood and went to see my doctor.? I couldtell he was more than a little concerned and when he told me to go see awell-known oncologist the next day I knew things weren?t that good.? After a few invasive tests and a verystressful ten days of waiting, I got the news.?A late-stage terminal cancer, inoperable even if I hadseen the specialist six months before when I first started feeling not so good.? More bad news.? This would not be an easy passing to theother side (whatever that might mean) and my condition would deterioraterapidly to the point where I would be unable to do anything except await theinevitable, totally unable to do a thing for myself.? The only good news was that I had the besthealth insurance possible so there were no worries about paying the huge billsthat would show up on a regular basis.? At one time I was married but my wife, Sally, took a fancyto an insurance broker (ironically the one who wrote all my various. "You ache for a family," she said. "You have one, here. You want a child. Eric, who is one of my Priests, can give you one. You worry about your age. Don't. I have accepted you. My Circle has accepted you. When will you accept us? When will you stop denying yourself what you truly want?"Joan tried to find her voice and form words. It was so difficult to think through the erotic haze covering her mind, but slowly, she was able to get out the two word sentence: "I'm afraid."The woman nodded. "Of course you are. You have lived a life in which there was no room for your spirit to grow and be complete." She tilted her head. "Is there room now? Will you make the room?"She smiled at Joan, then walked toward the edge of the Garden, disappearing as she reached it. Joan's breathing slowly returned to normal, and her mind began to function again. She sat in the grass, no longer chilled, and closed her eyes, her mind beginning to work and her body calming. Why was she afraid? There were many.
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