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111. If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer ... oh wait, he does.112. The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.113. I don’t have an attitude problem. You have a perception problem.114. George Washington said “We would have a black president when pigs fly!” ... well, swine flu.115. Haikus are easy. But sometimes they don’t make sense. Refrigerator.116. Children in the dark make accidents, but accidents in the dark make children.117. Life’s a bitch, ‘cause if it was a slut, it’d be easy.118. I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don’t listen, they don’t come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they’re home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.119. You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where. I sighed; grinned at my incredible young daughter, andfollowed her advice; heading back for the bedroom, where Marshawas probably still waiting impatiently. On the way, I almost raninto my 18-year-old son Mike, (Yes, and my name is MartyMorgan. . . People call us the “M&M’s.” And yes, it’sdeliberate.) heading for the bathroom, with a piss-hard-on of hisown, sticking out from HIS groin like a pipe sticking out of awall. Mike grinned at me, when he saw his father coming OUT of thebathroom, with as big an erection as he was going IN with. “Isee Marie got to you too, didn’t she Dad?” he remarked, beforewaving me into the bedroom with Marsha. “I bet Mom needs thatpretty bad by now,” was his only other comment before vanishinginto the bathroom where his naked little sister was makingsplashing noises in the tub. Marsha was grinning when she saw the proud erection I hadbrought her. This time I deliberately did NOT close.
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