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”“You still don’t have a date, do you?” It wasn’t really a question. Mom had tried to set me up with a neighbor’s daughter, and she must already have heard what happened. “It wasn’t my fault, damn it. She canceled it and went out with Kyle.”Mom gave me a disapproving glance. “You didn’t even go to your own homecoming in high school.”“I asked every damn girl in the school, mom. Even Lizzie, who no-one could stand. Even she said ‘no’.”“Have you ever kissed anyone, Johnny?” mom asked as I walked towards the stairs.I just waved my hands in frustration. I hadn’t, actually, but it shouldn’t have been any business of my mother’s.My sister Jay met me on the stairs. Yeah, that was her actual name. Apparently my parents hadn’t been able to decide between Jessica and Jennifer, so they had settled for that. I couldn’t help blaming them for her turning out a bit weird. She still had that blue stripe in her dark hair, despite mom having hinted she should stop dying it, since now at nineteen she had. 5 Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.6 Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.7 Man with one chopstick go hungry.8 Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.9 Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.10 Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.11 Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.12 War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.13 Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.14 Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.15 It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.16 Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.17 Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.18 Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.19 Man who fish in other man’s well often catch crabs.20 Man who fart in church sit in own pew.21 Crowded elevator smell different to midget.This one is compliments of J And BTo All My Democrat.
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