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Conversing with myself between stoplights, I rewrote my personal history to justify meeting a man, not my husband.Approaching Michael’s restaurant in Sunnyvale, our meeting place, however, my rationalized confidence dissipated, replaced with timid reality.I’m risking my marriage, family, my world. I should go home. I knew I wouldn't. I was adrift, on remote, led by a yearning set loose, something long-repressed, now free. I didn't know where or how it would end. What was I thinking? I wasn’t. I just went heart forward.Familiar with the restaurant from driving past, I’d never eaten there. Its outside decor proclaimed it too upscale for our family budget. Going in was entering unfamiliar terrain, economic, social and moral.I was scared but fear was part of the enticement. Scanning the parking lot from across the street, I wondered if he even came, with a false hope he didn’t. There it was, his black Porsche, parked near the front entrance. Knowing I shouldn’t but no longer in control,. " "...sure", Will cut in, "you have to be prepared, we need you looking absolutely perfect." "Yeh, I get that, James explained everything, it's just, I shaved everyday this week tomake sure I'm smooth enough" "Well, you should have waxed really, but I'm sure it will look fine, they will have a makeup artist, so don't worry about any rashes, or ingrowers", Will winked at Tara and turnedhist attention back to the road. Tara hesitated for a moment. Something told her to go for it.Something always tells her to go for it. "Sure, thanks, " she said at last, "but...could you take a look for me? I really want to checkit's going to be ok". This time Will hesitated. James had told him about Tara, how excited he was about finding herand signing her to the Slut Factory. He could see what James had been talking about. Willdidn't replay immediately, but after a few minutes of driving in silence he pulled off at aservice station and parked his prized beamer in a discreet corner by the air.
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