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Not unless you include Clara Beeman, but she’s sixty-six and an old maid. “ He leered. “I’ve got some ideas about a few.”“Me, too. Lots of them.”“I’ll bet you do. I told you I’d give you the girl of your dreams for a birthday present. Do you have anyone in mind?”“Julie Allison. She’s the hottest girl I’ve ever met.”“As hot as your mother?”“They’re about even.”“Tell me about her.”“Julie’s my age. She’s got a knockout figure, long blonde hair and huge blue eyes. She’s smart, too. Smarter than I am, I’d expect.”“Is she your girlfriend?”“Not really, but I wish she were.”“Why don’t you ask her to go steady?”“She’s not putting out. She’s teasing me and I need to get laid, Grandpa.”“How’s she teasing you?”“Letting me kiss her. Pressing her body against mine. Sometimes she lets me play with her breasts, but then she stops me.”“That’s normal for a girl her age. Don’t feel put down by it.”“But I want her. I want to...”Grandpa patted my hand to silence me. “Tell me about the ones you are. ”I explained Captain Hutton’s circumstances, and how my version of events would ensure Mrs Hutton and her children would have some recompense for the loss of her husband.“You are more than decent, Jack. Will the corporal support your version of events?”“Yes, Truman is a good man. It was he who had the idea, and the skill, to blow the door off its hinges. His plan was not entirely successful, but the explosion distracted Wilhelm Erzählenmann, and allowed me to get my knife from my boot and into his gut.”Callum chuckled. “Wilhelm Erzählenmann! Is that the name he used? He was mocking us, Jack. Translated to English his name becomes William Tell man – the fellow who could shoot the eye from a fly with a crossbow.”“Captain Hutton was suspicious of him because of his accent,”I said, “but I thought he might not be Prussian because of his sense of humour.”“Prussians do have a sense of humour, as indeed do all Germans. It may be more ribald and earthier than ours, and they are not so.
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