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For reasons I still can’t quite fathom, we’ve always been able to be completely open and honest with each and our pillow talk soon revolved around sharing our most intimate sexual fantasies. I asked Charlotte whether she’d ever had any same-sex experiences, any group sex and the other usual perverted events that most likely swim around every man’s mind. I was amazed that this beautiful, sexual woman who lay naked next to me had actually led a very conservative past. She hadn’t experienced anything anyone would consider unusual, she had never watched pornography, had never used a sex toy and her sex life at home was entirely vanilla! I was obviously very keen to enlighten Charlotte to the wonders of all of the above and we spent the next few months meeting as often as possible and would spend our recovery time watching porn on my iPad, finding out all the things that would turn Charlotte on. If you were in the lucky position that I was in, you would not recognise the Charlotte of. Stop making yourself crazy.’ Before I met Jeff I would have ripped into her for saying that. We started the drive back in an uncomfortable silence. ‘Ashley, what is this about?’ ‘I don’t know, Sunny. The wedding just has to be perfect and I’m worried it won’t be.’ ‘What will happen if it isn’t perfect?’ ‘It would be horrible.’ ‘Why? What would that cause? Would it make you get an incurable disease?’ ‘No, of course not.’ ‘Would it make you get it annulled?’ ‘No, that’s ridiculous.’ ‘Would it make Jeff get it annulled?’ ‘No.’ ‘Would it cause you guys to get divorced eventually?’ ‘Don’t even say that.’ ‘When I applied for my job, I had to wait to find out if I got it. I didn’t get a letter. I didn’t get a phone call. It wasn’t on the local news or even in the paper. I came home one day and found a message on my answering machine telling me when I started. It wasn’t exactly a magical hiring notice. ‘What I remember is how much work I had to put in to feel I was doing the job I was hired.
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