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”“I could use the splash of cold water anyway.”“Fine,” he sighed. He swings his open palm toward my face but pulls most of the force before impact. It barely makes a clapping sound.“Well, that was… exceptionally underwhelming. Again.” He tries again but falls just as flat. “You can call me a name, if it will help.”“Like what?”“Try calling me a slut, or a whore. Something that sounds mean, but make it nice with the way you say it.”His hand leaps to my throat like a striking cobra, and before I know what is happening, his soft palm collides with my cheek. The perfect sound of the slap ricochets amid the vinyl tiles and concrete of the walls. “Do you like that, you fucking whore?” I am shocked.He is very hard. “Better?”“That was… An improvement. The problem though, is that I did actually enjoy that.”“Ah. Any advice?”“I’d say to try again, but maybe we should wait until we find somewhere a bit more comfortable. Just in case we wind up succumbing to our desires.”“Yeah,” his. Suddenly, the music stopped and the entire party ventured onto the beach as this duo continued walking 'on water' towards them, their ship now noticable.As they felt the sand take over from the beam, Kelso began to speak to the advancing people, "I'm sorry, do you wish us to leave?"After receiving the perfunctory nods that he knew he'd see, Kelso told the mass that his partner and he were on a mission, pausing long enough to notice that most people knew what that mission was, and that they chose this place at random to begin their assimilation.After a long pause, the comedian in the group showed off his wit, saying, "Yes, and assimilation always begins "ass". I guess we ALL wish to assimilate!"The ice was broken to the relief of the two imposters and it hardly made any difference whether the host was game or not because three or four people chimed in to say, "C'mon - join the party!"Enoch and Eli would have preferred that Kelso just make the insemination offer in a 'take it or leave.
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