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Death seems to be my only solution- my only escape and yet fate has not allowed me to leave this place and, I haven't the courage to do so myself. Invisibility would be a gift and yet the only thing I wish for lies within the bounds of impossibility.I want to disappear from the life I live and find another, I want to leave all those I know forever. I know myself better than any other and I know that I lack the capacity for truly endearing emotions. I love pain and danger yet I feel incapable of love and innocence. My life is a shadow of anger — I'm drowning in rage and disgust for myself. My entire being is an imposition.Water: an undeniably relaxing element. When I feel it swish against me at the beach, when it knocks me under it's surface with powerful surges and when it falls relentlessly from the sky I feel calm — as if my problems have disappeared if only for the moment. However, I know that my element is it's opposite- FIRE. I connect with the flames of a malevolent fire; I see. "Take this," he said; handing him a plastic container. "Piss in this, this is for a drug test."Michael accepted the container and waited for a moment, staring at the man."Aren't you going to leave?" I asked him."Nope, can't." he said.He stood in front of the man, unzipped his pants and whipped his cock right out.Only one person in that room was a little uncomfortable, and it wasn't Michael."Your mother black," he asked him, looking at Michael's cock resting in the cup he was holding."No, why do you ask?" Michael said."Just wondering." By the way, how much do you want?" As much as you can give," he responded."Well, I can give you about 16 oz.'s worth, but I don't think this container will hold that much." he said chuckling."Then just fill it," the man replied, making a conscious effort of looking at Michael in his eyes.Michael filled about 4 ounces of Arnie's urine into the container and handed it to him, who promptly left the bathroom. As the man took it, Michael walked to the urinal.
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