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” “Well you’re getting better at it if you are!” “I’m not!” “Greg! It’s a joke!” “Oh yeah sorry.” “Greg my face is here!” “I know…I know. They’re just so.” Greg hadn’t stopped looking at my boobs since he came in. They were a bit obvious under my towel and I was showing a fair bit of cleavage. “OK…I’ll go then.” “You don’t want a coffee?” “Yes OK then!” He certainly didn’t need a second ask to stay. I looked at my poor garden. The weeds were still tall even though it was November and my hedges needed cutting. “If you want to do me a favour Greg, you can sort my garden out if you like.” “Oh yeah, no problem! I’d do anything for you Danielle. I love you.” “No you don’t!” “I do. I told you, I can’t stop thinking about you.” “Greg. You’re starting to sound a bit creepy.” “I’m sorry. Yes, I’ll do your garden.” “Thank you. Be more confident Greg. I know you’re a couple of years younger than me, but girls like a man to be a man. Yeah?” “Yes. Sorry, I just go to pieces around you.” “OK I’ll. “Nothing, I’m just having trouble keeping myself on-task today.” “Too excited about the holidays?” I shrugged. People always acted weird when I told them I didn’t celebrate Christmas. Like it meant I had some personal vendetta against all joy, everywhere in the world. When a young, single guy with no living family doesn’t celebrate Thanksgiving, nobody bats an eye. But Christmas? What sort of monster doesn’t like Christmas?! Over the years, I’d basically mastered the art of the non-answer to such questions: “Actually, I generally like keep things pretty low-key. How about you?” “No plans,” she said a bit dejectedly. That caught me by surprise. “Really?” “I usually spend it with my brother, but he’s deployed overseas this year, and my best friend is gonna be busy hanging out with this new guy she’s dating, so—yeah, no plans.” “No way, that’s awesome!” I said. Tracy raised an eyebrow at my callous enthusiasm, so I hurriedly clarified: “Not the fact that you don’t have plans—that’s not.
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