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But he couldn’t remember anything else.?Fuckfuckfuck-? he cursed under his breath, because his brain had finally assessed that whatever happened, this was not a place he wanted to be. His wrists were tied to his opposite elbow, bent behind his back and pulling on his shoulders. His ankles had been lashed together and then tied with a short length to rope wrapped around his thighs, giving him no slack except a few aborted kicks. There was no way to stand up. ?Shit!??It’s about time you woke up.? The voice made Jack jerk with surprise. His whipped his head around as far as he could, and noticed a bed behind him. A man was lounging on the edge, broad shouldered and thick armed, a faint trace of amusement on his face.?What the fuck is this? Where am I?? Jack demanded, trying to squirm around to get a better view of the guy.?Your language is something we are definitely going to have to work on,? The man stated calmly, and nudged Jack’s back with a leather shoe. ?I won’t stand a vulgar. The detective asks, "Ma'am, is that your husband?" Yes" says the woman."Did you hit him with that golf club?" Yes, yes, I did." The woman begins to sob, drops the club, and puts her hands on her face."How many times did you hit him?" I don't know -- put me down for a five."A golfer teed up his ball on the first tee, took a mighty swing and hit his ball into a clump of trees. He found his ball and saw an opening between 2 trees he thought he could hit through.Taking out his 3-wood, he took a mighty swing. The ball hit a tree, bounced back, hit him in the forehead and killed him.As he approached the gates of Heaven,St. Peter asked, "Are you a good golfer?"The man replied: "Got here in two, didn't I?The bride was escorted down the aisle and when she reached the altar, the groom was standing there with his golf bag and clubs at his side.She said: "What are your golf clubs doing here?"He looked her right in the eye and said, "This isn't going to take all day, is it?"A husband and wife are.
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