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The latest bottle empty, I had been laying on my back staring at the fan slowly spinning on the ceiling. Empty. Devoid of any interest in - well - anything really.I had stopped going to the pub to drown my sorrows, and had started just drinking at 'home'. When I first started going to the pub, it had been for a few drinks and a bit of social interaction. It had also lead to a job offer. As the days wore on though, I started to resent the place. Oh, the prices were reasonable, the atmosphere pleasant, but it was hard sitting there watching lovers do the tonsil dance and be all lovey dovey with each other. Many times I had wanted to...Well. I am not sure what I wanted to do, but I wanted to do something. In the end, it all became too much, and I started just staying home and drinking. Plus, it was cheaper, especially when I started drinking the cheap stuff.I had gotten a crappy laborer job to pay the bills and as long as I turned up and didn't kill myself, they didn't care how drunk I. I was to hand out thepamphlets and smile. I was to stand next to Mary (the other model) andsmile. Oh yes, did I forget about smiling.The show was in a banquet room in the west thirties and there were abouttwo dozen designers each with a twelve by twenty foot space. Clotheswere hanging on racks and bodies, there was a buzz in the room and theanti-smoking laws were not being enforced. People were wandering aroundaimlessly, grabbing each other and doing a weird type of kissing wherethe lips missed the cheeks by about an inch.Diane guided me to the Mercer Way booth and introduced me to Mary. Sheexplained to Mary that for the duration of the show my name was Jean. Ihung up my leather jacket behind a curtain and put on the cap andblazer. Then I went and stood next to Mary so Carol could take a pictureof us. It was then that I realized a major difference between me and aprofessional model. Mary was at least five foot nine and probablyweighed no more than I did. Also she was wearing heels so.
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