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They only stock sizes up to 8 sadly and my school gurl error of asking innocently if they ‘have these in a size nine?’ gave the game away and the swarm of hip young zombies were alerted and I was driven from the shop by pointing legions of undead teenage girls, cackling and screeching like demented, defecating zombie Baboons as the actual real Manager hurled great handfuls of steaming excrement at mostly me but was mercifully distracted by the arrival of two clearly lost but hot zombie milf's intent on buying something young and sexy to complement their fulsome-albeit undead Middle aged bodies-and lost interest in me in order to focus his brain stem on taking them for every penny they possessed.In H& M I’m spotted entering by a uniformed store detective who attempts to covertly shadow me as I march with purpose toward the Ladies Fashions. He either wants my telephone number or suspects me suspiciously of being a suspect shop lifter, but having spotted his game from the off I give him. "You're a lifesaver! How can I ever thank you?" Not necessary, Honey," she said. "Anything for a high school mate. ButI would like to talk to you about something. Are you free for lunchtoday?"I was puzzled about the "high school mate" part. But of course I agreedto meet Gretchen for lunch.After showering and shaving quickly, I got my bike and hustled over tothe address Gretchen gave me. It was a very ritzy condo building about amile from campus. Gretchen was definitely living large.I took the elevator to an upper floor, sought out the apartment numberand knocked on Gretchen's door.She opened the door almost immediately and there she was. Spectacular asshe had been the previous night, if not more so. She was wearing alovely, yellow, sundress with spaghetti straps and a short hemline.Which showed a lot of fantastic leg! Encased in tan, seamed, fully-fashioned, reinforced-heel-and-toe stockings and accented by dark redtoenail polish and strappy, yellow, four-inch-stiletto.
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