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Phil, I would find out, went to the kitchen and rifled through the cabinets. Found vodka. Whose up for it? Im game I said. I felt like getting drunk. Fuck-an-A. the lady is in, who else? Ed? Steve? Ill take a shot. Sure. We lined small glasses up and took our turns. By the third, my stomach was on fire. No more for me. I went to sink and put my mouth under the faucet. I drank as much as I could of the nasty water and turned around. They were all watching me. Thought you were going to throw up. No Im good. Might be new, but Im not that much of a party nerd. Sweet. So you and John a thing? It was Phil, second in command it would seem. A thing? You know, yall fucking? Is that any of your business? So I take that as a yes. Im not his, no matter what we do. Just met him. So your fair game then? Fair game? What am I an animal to be hunted. The whole conversation had the air of what I hated in high school. Not what I meant at all. Dont get that way, just saying, he doesnt own ya. No no. 3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand.Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit.Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking.
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