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" She walks slowly towards you, and looks at the papers on your desk. "Calculus, huh?" I feel self-conscious as she looks at me more closely. "Yeah, never really understood it". I say. Eliza. That's a pretty name. "Well," she says, smiling at me coyly, "I'm sure we'll get through it". I feel my face getting hot as I stare at her cleavage. Fuck it's hard not to stare at those tits. "Well come on then, let's get started". The teacher takes her seat at the desk next to me, and looks at you expectantly. "So," she says cheerfully, "what did you need help on?". I glance at the papers in front of me, then look back at her face. "Girls," I said. "It's hard to get a girlfriend when I have to share a class with you everyday". She cocks her head to one side for a moment, then smiles at me. "Well then," she says, "I guess we'll have to fix that". What? How? She smiles coyly and places her hand on her cleavage. "I can't help but be flattered that you can't take your eyes off me, you know" Eliza. Murphy came home plastered for the third night in a row. His wife dragged him to the window, pointing to the blazing lights of the big distillery in the distance. “See how big it is?” she said. “They can always make it faster than you can drink it”. “Maybe so” said Murphy “But I’ve got ‘em working nights!”A woman buys a new Sim Card. She puts it in her phone and decides to surprise her husband, who is seated on the couch in the living room. She goes to the kitchen, calls her husband with the new number: “Hello Darling”. The husband responds in a low tone: “Let me call you back later, Honey, my wife is in the kitchen”.A lady to doctor: “My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?” Doctor: “Give him an opportunity to speak when he is awake!”The other day I went up to a Christian bookstore and saw a “honk if you love Jesus bumper sticker”. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed.
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