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.0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing... 0 You check out a suspicious noise and it is something...+5 You smash it with a cricket bat...................+10 It's her cat...................................-40 AT THE PARTY You stay by her side the entire evening........... 0 You stay by her side for a bit, then go and chat with a mate from the pub...-2 Called Tiffany......................-4 Who is a lap dancer................-10 With breast implants...............-18 HER BIRTHDAY You remember her birthday............................... 0 You buy a card and flowers.............................. 0 You take her out to dinner.............................. 0 You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar....+1 Ok, it is a sports bar................................-2 And it's all-you-can-eat night.........................-3 It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team...-10 A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS Go with a. ’ He sounded nervous. ‘I don’t know what to say.’ ‘Well, say you’ll go out with me Saturday then.’ I was supposed to be fucking the major on Saturday. How in the hell had my life gotten so far out of control? And how could I stand there and worry about something so trivial as an illegal affair when one of my friends was about to ship out to a war zone? What was I supposed to do? Tell the major to take a flying leap? Yeah right, like he’d do that without throwing a temper tantrum. ‘I don’t know, Bradford. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be doing some work this weekend or not. How about Monday night?’ ‘I got guard duty Monday. Tuesday night?’ ‘Okay, Tuesday night.’ I offered him a tentative smile. ‘We can rent movies or something.’ He gave me a broad smile. ‘Okay.’ I felt like such a fucking bitch. ‘Look, I gotta get back to the company and get an ass chewing. I’ll catch up with you later.’ ‘I’ll call you Friday, see if you’re gonna be free this weekend.’ ‘Okay.’ ‘You sure you don’t.
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