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We sat and talked and after having a few drinks she put her hand on my leg"hey I'm gonna go talk to the bar owner I'll be right back.” she promised. i sat there sipping on a gin and orange juice 10 minutes later she came back to the bar.”okay just so you know i don't want a relationship" she says.I sighed." kimmie,i'm not lookin for a wife or girlfriend, I wanna have my cake and eat it too”I told her. “you're such a sweet guy" she said.We talked for awhile and I bought her a shot of Jameson. then around 11:30 she turns to me.”I'm gonna crash here tonight,hon. the owner's got a spare bedroom upstairs." she says with a smile. she rubbed my leg with her heel"you wanna crash upstairs with me?" she asks.I just took her hand and kissed it."ooh you're being all romantic and shit" she says.She gets up from her chair and slings her purse over her shoulder"c'mon sweetie" she says as she takes me by the hand. we walk outside to a door she unlocked it and we headed up the stairs to the. I still had my selfish desires, my unholy impulses. And I had to fix those to be truly worthy of him.It had only been a couple of weeks, but I'd been trying. I loved him without restraint, showering affection, attention, and yes, as much sex as he could handle. I worked extra hard to be considerate, to anticipate his needs. Ben saw me as an angel, the personification of perfection. And I had every intention of living up to his lofty perceptions.Now, he was asking me to accept Kim as a roommate. While my first, selfish impulse would be to refuse so that I could have Ben and this house all to myself, I quickly fought that down. Don't think just about yourself. What would Ben want? What would make him happy?What would Adrienne do?It wasn't that I wanted to be like Adrienne. She was her own person, and I was mine. But the simple fact was: Adrienne had made Ben very happy, at least until that whole Grace fiasco. I wanted to be the best girlfriend I could for my boyfriend, and while I.
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