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”“I don’t know what to say. I just don’t know.”They didn’t have too many more questions, and that was it for them. They thanked me for helping and said that they hoped I got better soon.I had another conversation with Doctor Perlmutter. Some of what he told me made sense and reminded me of some past battles. I described how I had reacted after the attack on Camp Custer, when I received my first Silver Star, and how I had taken the blame for the losses. He smiled and said, “So if I have you right, you were taking the blame for guys being killed before you could even get to your post? That’s classic survivor’s guilt, Sergeant. It also tells me that you’ll get past this at some point, like you did then.”“How do you get past it though? It’s not like I won’t remember it.”“You’ll always remember it. You just will learn to cope with it a little better, and not let it control you.”“I don’t know. Some days it feels pretty black,” I admitted.“There will probably always be times like that, but. After Destinee and I had spent an entire June afternoon on the water at the lake, and then on the shoreline roasting weiners and marshmallows, I convinced her to come back with me to my place for a gradual wind-down to our day's fun and activities. I sure didn't have a real "wind-down" in mind and I don't believe Destinee did either. It had been absolutely all I could do that entire afternoon to conceal the huge hardon that was in my pants constantly from not only being with Destinee and being able to enjoy her gorgeous physical beauty but also seeing her in the two-piece bikini that she'd worn when we were water-skiiing or jet skiiing. Man, you've never seen a woman in her mid-20s fill out a bikini like Destinee does. Totally fucking hot and awesome.Well, we got back to my place and I got a couple more cold beers for us to enjoy while I made the pretense of us watching a new video I'd rented the day before. The video was certainly nothing more than a ruse to get Destinee on my den.
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