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” “Not help like that, you ass. She knows what you’re going through. She’s a joy and she’ll love you and vice versa. And she’s sixty actually. I want you to do her show. I’ve cleared it with the production company and they’re letting us have a note of what you can and cannot say.” “See? I might as well wear a gag or have a ventriloquist’s hand up my bum.” “It’s not like that. It’s simply to avoid fucking up the publicity for ‘Trade Secrets.’ Behave.” “OK. I’ll do the bloody show. Tell me what to wear.” “Oh, I will. You’re a star and you have to look like one.” * At that time I was thirty-five, so not the sort of actress who wears high-rise skirts and flashes legs and tits even if I had any worth the name. I met Krantz for the first time in the bar of one of the exclusive hotels that abound in Hollywood. I wore a pale blue dress which had seemed incredibly expensive when I’d bought it but didn’t feel so when surrounded by people wearing ten thousand dollar frocks. Krantz (‘call me. It was certainly influenced by both philosophies and the artists that were used as representatives.One aspect that intrigued me, though, was the rise of performance art in the postmodern era. A few years ago, an artist named Marina Abramović had spent the entire length of her exhibition at MOMA in New York sitting in a chair across the table from another chair that visitors, one at a time, could sit quietly in. From all the reports I’d read, it was an intense experience for those who chose to sit across from her while those who chose to just walk past saw nothing significant. She sat a total of seven hundred thirty-six hours during exhibition opening times!On the other hand, everyone knows and loves Bob Ross. He started in the eighties on Public Television, supposedly teaching people to paint. It’s true that you can learn a lot from him, but every lesson is truly a performance. Even more now that his performances have been transferred to YouTube. He was only active for about fifteen.
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