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Gazing back at me was a caricature of a woman or maybe it was a caricature of a man dressed as a woman. Whatever it was, it looked bizarre and distorted. My wig was askew, my lipstick was smeared, my chest was flat, and I was wearing a girdle. I probably looked like a female impersonator gone berserk. It was a downer.About fifteen minutes later, I emerged from my bedroom in my "All American Boy" clothes, namely, chinos, a dress shirt without tie, a V-neck sweater, and penny loafers."Hi, dad. How's it going?" I said as casually as I could."Good, son. How about you?" He gave me a warm smile. We loved each other a lot. In fact, the death in our immediate family had brought us even closer. I missed my mom. He missed his wife."What have you got planned for today?' he asked."Oh, I thought I'd take a walk and then catch a movie. Are you interested?" No thanks. I've got some reading to catch up on. What time will you be home?" About six. Is that okay?" "Sure, sounds great. . It wasn't my real shot, or anything... And I wasn't a pitcher. I was a backup infielder." But, shit, man! The Majors!"I decided not to disillusion the lad further. After all, I was a mature college graduate, twenty-three years old. A former big-leaguer. This mere slip of a boy was even younger -- only twenty -- and his only professional experience was this two-month stretch he'd had in the American Association."I was only up for the Birds' western swing," I said modestly. "... Minnesota, Seattle, Oakland and L.A. I never even got to play a home game with them." You were an infielder?" Yeah." Get any hits up there?" I only got two at bats," I explained. "Bunt single, and an out." You hit .500 in the Show!" Boots exclaimed."Yeah. For the season, I guess you could say... One for two." Still! Still, Dude, you've been up there! Wow! Only other guys, on the Saints, who've been up are the manager and our left fielder, Coleman. You met him yet? Coleman? He's like, fifty years old or some.
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