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“Are you alright?”“Yes, just… having a hard time.”“With?” I feel her gaze through the dark room, looking at me like I’m stupid.“I’m sure you know,” she concedes, and it’s followed by a dead bout of silence.“… Do you need help?” My words are a piercing through what was probably our undefiled friendship. Emilia sits up in bed. All she can do is stare at me.“What?” she finally says, looking unamused. I shrug one shoulder.“Just offering some help.”“Steven…” She shakes her head.“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be an asshole, I swear. You’re my friend, I just… want to help.”She sits chewing her lip in silence for a moment.“I never expected you to offer something like this…” The disappointment in her voice makes my heart sink.“I’m sorry, I’m not trying to pressure you or make you upset.” She doesn’t reply. “It’s this damn cabin,” I say, cursing it. Emilia looks up at me. “Being stuck in the same room together for three days was not my idea. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with you, Em.. How can I possibly say good-bye to the woman I’ve shared so much of my life? How can I say good-bye to the mother of my children? Good-bye is so final. Good-bye is forever. How can I say good-bye to her? Saying good-bye to her is like saying good-bye to me. I didn’t want to say good-bye, but I had no choice in the matter and it was a mute point anyway. Out of my control to make her stay, she’s gone. When she died, God took the real essence of what we were together and what we meant to one another and left me, the empty shell of a weak man, who is now alone, angry, depressed, and tired, too tired to care about anything else other than the misery that I feel with the loss of her. I don’t want to live without her, but I must. We have two kids. It’s funny how they’ll always be kids and I’ll always think of them as toddlers roaming the house and getting in trouble. It doesn’t matter that they are both married and have children of their own. They’ll always be babies to me. What would I.
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