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"A true relationship between us is still impossible. I'm fivetimes his age and sometimes, as you've seen for yourself, he can becrude."I thought this nineteenth century debutante protesteth too much. "Oh?So tell me again, Miss Sophisticated, why are you wasting yourvaluable time dressing to impress this bumpkin?"Diana rolled her eyes towards the ceiling in irritation. "Yes! I likehim, but this wouldn't ever work. I took your advice and let him lead,not, it turns out, that I had too much choice in the matter. Derrickdoes that on his own. He's thirty-one and thinks that I'm only twenty-three. It's making me crazy. He's so damned sure of himself." Why should you care so much? You said that he was only 'a firststep,' didn't you?" I did, and he is -- he has to be -- but when he's around ... well, noone has ever looked at me the way he does. I lose myself sometimes inhis arms, and in his kisses -- and then the century and a half ofbeing a man catches up and wonders what the hell I'm. I, ofcourse, have nothing to say. But then he tells me something whichchanges my life.I had always assumed that adoption records were private. You give upyour son, no strings, never have to hear from him again. But I waswrong.Turns out, you can access your family history for medical reasons.Makes sense, you never know if you're going to need a kidney orsomething.It was a hopeless fantasy, I knew. Even the next day, as I caught anorthbound semi to Atlanta, I had convinced myself that I was justmoving on. But I couldn't help fantasizing...About a middle-aged couple who had never stopped regretting the sonthey gave up years ago. Or perhaps an uncle, some wise older guy whowould take me under his wing and help me get my life together. What ifI had surviving grandparents? Or brothers and sisters?It was stupid. On the off chance they still had my records, and theyactually had my family name somewhere, and I could actually contactfamily members, would they actually want to see me? A.
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