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At breakfast Dad asked what was the banging about. Samuel said he did pushups every day, but had forgotten until he was in bed. You can’t do real pushups on a mattress, the exercise kind, anyway. My kind, I could.BIRTHDAY PARTIESThe big event of the Bicentennial was my turning 30. I’d always thought that was so old, but now I had to change the threshold. We had a Howdy party, everyone a character. Samuel was Howdy. He said I had to be Heidi, but I said it was my party and I got to be the Princess -- I’d be Heidi afterwards -- and wore an Indian costume that revealed when I served the grape punch. Indian Princesses never wear White-man’s goods.Ralph Brownel, my principal, was Buffalo Bob because he had a cowboy shirt. He had me refill his punch cup a bunch.Marian, who teaches math, was Clarabell. As she’s the chattiest one at school, she honked her horn lots.My friend Ruth Anne was Mr. Bluster. She brought her brother Ralph -- a big Howdy fan -- who wore a hat that said “Cameraman.”. ”“Allow internet override?” Again, she wasn’t sure whatthat meant, but answered, “Yeah, OK.”“Allow training mode?” Now she really didn’t know whatto answer, and she was absolutely sure that was not inthe manual. But since this would be her first time, sheassumed it had something to do with being a first timeuser and answered, “Yes, I guess.”“Final question,” Teasinator said in its mechanicalvoice, “Notify designated contact of the session?”“Yes, of course,” she answered. She really didn’t wantEarl to know what she was doing, but if something wentwrong, he was the logical person to call for help. Incase of a serious problem, the system would send anemail and text message to the safety backup one hourafter the session was supposed to end. This was an off-site safety protocol, and not a part of the machine, sonothing that happened to the machine could preventsending out a safety.
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