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He found three such girls in a local pub, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. To the blonde he said “I am the President of the United States. Now how much would it cost me to spend some time with you?” She replied “$200”. To the brunette he asked the same question. Her reply was “$100”. He then asked the redhead. Her reply was “Mr. President, if you can get my skirt up as high as my taxes, my pants as low as my wages, get that thing of yours as hard as the times we are living in, keep it rising like the price of gas, keep me warmer than in my apartment, and screw me the way you have all retirees, then it isn’t going to cost you a damned cent tonight!”What do u call a woman with no legs? Fanny Walker.A frog telephoned the psychic hotline and was told “You are going to meet a beautiful young woman who will want to know everything about you”. The frog said “That’s great! Will I meet her at a party, or what?” “No” said the psychic “Next term ... in her biology class”.I just got a text. “You never answered my question. Does he know I’m coming?”“Of course he does! I’ve been talking to him for a month and a half so he could be prepared.” A month and a half?! She sprung this on me two weeks ago! “Wow, that makes me feel so much better, thanks Mom. Only took fifteen years and a twenty-five year old boy toy to realize how desperately a girl needs her father. This entire thing is a joke.” I put my headphones on and glance at my reflection in the side mirror. My hair was due for another color treatment, my auburn roots are coming in fast. I notice the black smudges that line my emerald green eyes, annoyed that I’ll have to fix them before I get there. Why though? What’s the point? I’m not going to fix my eyeliner, fuck it, not like it really matters. Nothing seems to matter anymore. Still an hour and a half drive left, maybe I could jump out of the truck and make a run for it… ugh, this sucks.*******************************We finally arrive, pulling up to a nice sized grey.
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