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A lot of people have been hurt by suicide. I understand if you don’t want to talk about it with me. I’m NOT trying to get 500 emails begging me not to do it or 5 asshats giving advice on how to and telling me to Youtube it for their enjoyment.About two months into the initial phase of my illness is when I realized how fucked I truly was. At that point, they hadn’t found a reliable way for me to speak on a regular basis yet. I couldn’t work. Couldn’t pay enough attention to watch TV. Couldn’t write fiction. It was then I started thinking about suicide. You start asking questions. Just how bad am I willing to let it get before I say fuck it? What will living as a cripple cost my family vs living without me? Will my wife love me?I started drawing criteria. One is the ability to read. Reading makes life bearable. Aphasia hadn’t touched my ability to read even though it can so that was a positive. I even considered other modes of reading like learning braille. I didn’t know if Aphasia. . She put her hand over mine and beganplaying with her right breasts. I slipped my hands down and she wasstill rubbing her right breasts and nipples. I got more turned onseeing her do that and got engrossed in feeding like a baby on hertits. “Reena I love sucking your breasts and have been wanting to dothis for so long. I still remember the first day of the training whenyou had worn a tight t-shirt and i had accidentally brushed my handsover them couple of times, I could see your nipples thru the t-shirt’.Looking up at her, I kept moving my tongue on her areolea and beganteasing her. “why are doing this baby, please don’t trouble me more”. Imoved my tongue thru her cleavage onto to her right breast and Reenasqueezed her breasts into my mouth. I moved my hand around her back,and began feeling her backside. I untied the last knot and unwrappedher skirt, which dropped down and could feel that she was wearingsomewhat thong panties. I could now feel Reena, moving her hands down to my shirt.
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