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A load of laundry here, a sink of dishes there was all I could manage. Running the vacuum or scrubbing the toilet would have to wait. At some point in this madness, and possibly sensing no end to it, my husband told me at last that his love for me was gone entirely. That he was no longer attracted to me. That he felt resentful toward me. That I had changed too much. After a week of constant crying, of self harming for the first time in years, of sleeping on a palette of piled sheets and blankets in the nursery next to my baby’s crib, he came to me. He said he’d been wrong. He said he never meant a word, that he just needed to ‘get it out’. He had needed to see me hurting over him. We resumed. I began to put forth more effort. I truly believed that more effort on my part was really what was needed. I tried to lose the baby weight by denying myself rest after a long day of reading Peter Rabbit and Goodnight Moon, of cleaning up thrown food, of endlessly wiping and powdering a little. "It's not just the way we look," Cybill corrects him, "it's the clothes,shoes, hair and makeup." If we came in today wearing suits, our hair slicked back, no makeup, youwouldn't find us so feminine, would you?" Joanne says."No, I guess not," my father admits."Well, there we have it," Cybill says contently. "But enough talkingabout men and women. Since we're finished with dinner, I'd say it's timefor you to be the woman again, clear up the table and bring us dessert."My father is steaming with humiliation, but at the same time it's clearhe's happy to get away from the table."Make sure you wear a nice apron, this time," Cybill adds."I'm sorry, Cybill, but I'm not going to put on an apron," he saysdefiantly."I do apologize, I was out of the line here," she says, then stands upfrom the table and goes to the kitchen.Seconds later, she comes back with an apron in her hands."Good enough?" she asks no one in particular as she holds my mother'sfloral, lace trimmed apron against her."Please,.
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