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" Sperm?" My mother's composure flickered. I was shocked."Yes, semen actually. I've pledged to collect a pint of semen, and people are paying me for every teaspoonful I collect."My mother prides herself on being open-minded. "Oh, that's wonderful! I'm afraid I can't help with that, but my husband might when he comes home, and Jess here might be willing." Well, yes, of course it is only the men and boys who can help with that side of things." OK -- look, here's my husband now." Dad's car was pulling in the driveway. "I'm sure Fred will be happy to masturbate for you, and maybe Jess here. Do you have a receptacle for them to ejaculate into?" Yes, we can provide that if they'd like. But we actually prefer it if they ejaculate the sperm into my vagina. The donation is usually bigger that way, and what's more, I provide 'matching funds' in terms of lubrication, you know? It's part of the pledge arrangement."My mother seemed totally unfazed now, as if this happened every day.Blood had. The moment we met at auditions, I felt something, a really deep something. I want to grow old with you. I don't want to impose on you a pre-nuptial agreement. I want to love you—every day and every night for the rest of our lives."Her eyes were filling. I could tell she was about to let loose. We were done with dinner, so I dropped money on the table and walked her out to my car."Michael, I can't believe the guy I've been waiting for, grew up in my own hometown. I feel so close to you right now. Kiss me?"She leaned me against the car, and our lips met. It wasn't the first time—but it was the best time. Boy oh boy, she can kiss. That Geoff fellow was an idiot; whatever caused them to break up certainly was to my benefit. After our long kiss was over, I opened the door for her, and we went home.The next morning, I could barely walk, due to our evening of desire. I thought about calling to say I wouldn't be there, but I felt I'd done that too many times since Amy and I've been.
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