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Every waking moment they think of me, and when they sleep I inhabit their dreams. Women have loved me deeply before — not many, but Wendy certainly did during our courtship and the early years of our marriage, and so did one of my University girlfriends, if only for a term or two — but never have I known anything like the absolute and unconditional devotion I get from my girls.They bless the day they met me. I can do no wrong in their eyes; they put the best possible light on everything. My ruthless promiscuity, for instance, shows my generosity: I am sharing my magnificence as widely as possible. Of their work as whores, they tell me I am one in a million, so caring, so understanding; what other man would let them do this without getting jealous? The rule against other boyfriends shows (they say) how important each girl is to me; and why should she want anyone else anyway, when she has a share of me? I am so clever, so witty, so wise. Jim knows best.Uppermost in their minds, even. And I wanted him to fuck me. I wanted to give in. To openmyself. I felt some lube on my "pussy" and wonder still if he wasplanning this hook up all along. What guy travels with lube? Someonewho plans on fucking some shemale ass is who. He greased me and I assumehimself. Then he pushed into me. I bore down and begged him to go slow. He did. I wish I had more to drink, which is amazing because I know Iwas hammered. Anything to take the edge off his 7" prick that felt likeit was splitting me in two.When Stacy Hamilton loses her virginity to Ron Johnson, Audio Consultant,in Fast Times at Ridgemont High, she confesses to her friend Linda thenext day that it "hurt so bad." Amen Stacy. It fucking killed. But hecame inside me. I felt like such a slut. Still do. I will get betterat this.End Diary EntryLooking at this diary, all I can do is laugh at myself. It's soinnocent, almost clinical. The funny thing is, I actually went about 4months before having another encounter after.
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