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I think she felt it and backed off a bit."Peter, Roz is right. You need to focus on your life not trying to second guess of 'what if' or 'should I have'. She said it. You tried your best. Now you need to get your act together and create a new life."By that time we were sitting at Cindy's kitchen table. I had a beer in my hand and the ladies had each a glass of wine in front of them."You two talk like as if Red is not going to recover..." Peter, I talked to Doc today and it doesn't look good. Not for a long time. Red is still being treated with different meds. Right now Doc feels it will be close to year before Red will be able to go home and live with her parents. I know, that's not what you want to hear but you need to be realistic. You can always cherish her. You had some good memories. Try to forget the bad stuff and move on." Speaking of moving on," piped up Cindy, "you don't have to move if you don't want to. That was what I want to talk to you about. The apartment that you are. " her voice had that slightly mocking, gently amused tone that had always turned his guts to ice. "But how? If I am not going out of my head, how? I mean, I know you are dead." He again tried to rise, but the pressure on his head continued to hold him face down on the rug. "Well, I am not precisely sure myself," she said thoughtfully as she stroked his head gently with her toes, "Except it was decided that you need me to help you move on. So, here I am." "To help me?" "Yes. You have allowed your grief to prevent you from finding the new love that *should* have been yours two years ago. And since I personally picked her for you, your recalcitrance has really begun to piss me off." "I. . . I don't understand." "Obviously, Nate." was the sardonic reply. "I tried doing this the easy way by coming to you in your dreams, but you were so happy to see me, you weren't listening to me. You're going to pay for that inattention, by the way." Tears were streaming down Nathan's face..
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