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Alex was there for her the whole time. He provided support and comfort without asking for anything back. She had to admit that she needed a baby-sitter and Alex had applied for the job.The funeral was the worst part. Everybody was looking at her as if she was an alien but they didn't speak to her. Her aunts stared at Alex trying to figure out who he was and failing miserably. Her mother of course didn't acknowledge her presence.Alex was holding her hand in a tight grip that was hurting her but she didn't mind. She wanted to cry, she actually tried to cry but tears wouldn't come. Jen felt dead, devoid of any emotion. There was no sorrow, no sadness, no loneliness; she was empty. For a while she thought that this thing was happening to some other girl and that she was watching from a distance.When the priest said the last words her brother kissed her on the cheek and Alex guided her out of the cemetery. Jen simply followed him without asking any questions. She just followed him to the. They were good times, I felthappier as Dorothy in Germany with Daisy than I had back in Derbyshire.Though I remained in sporadic email contact with Mum it felt easy togradually close off my contact with the people I'd left behind in Derbyand after a few months I closed down the last of my social mediaaccounts and concentrated on being Dorothy. I could take up those linksagain, when Connor returned.Being a woman, living as a woman, became my normal. As part of mydetermined inclusion into the city I started to enjoy going to get myhair done every few weeks, where its thick, deep red length arousedmuch envy in some of the other clients and a few of the stylists. Ilearned the simple, extravagant pleasure of having a pedicure. Why arethese things kept secret from men? To have a skilled operator smoothingand pampering my feet, particularly as I got bigger and they achedmore, was wonderful. After the first session I even let Claudia paintmy toenails and then I rode a slippery slope into a.
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