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Standing, she looked like a fit, adorable, and somewhat stoned nudist jogger.“Looking good, love,” I said. “Almost there. C’mere.” I gestured, and she leaned in so I could whisper in her ear. She giggled, scampered off to our bedroom, and returned moments later wearing a pink dog collar.The audience let loose with the comment-board equivalent of catcalls. FUCK YEAH, said one. Get that cunt on all fours, said another. Thank God, a woman that knows its place.Jesus Christ. So much hate against women. And this was my wife, after all—show a little respect. But I stayed professional and hid my dismay. This was just business, after all.“All right, baby. Now get cleaning. Do it fast. As much as you can do in about 45 minutes.”And for the next three-quarters of an hour, that’s what she did: Wearing only pink tennis shoes and a pink dog collar, she cleaned the living room, the kitchen, and the upstairs bathroom. Cameras in each room showed her work in fine detail—all the picking up, vacuuming,. ”“Hmmm!”Pete seemed to be taking my suggestion seriously but was unusually hard to read.“And they’re good at it too, if their reviews are to be believed,” I added.“They have reviews?” Pete asked, amazed. “Like on Amazon?”“Well, yes. A bit like that,” I smiled. “Have a look yourself. It’s just an idea and I know it’s off the wall but, well, it seems to answer most of the worries we’ve had.”Pete looked very doubtful.“Look. I’ve saved a couple of websites in favourites,” I said, moving to the computer and clicking on the top right hand corner of the screen. “I’m going for a run. Have a look while I’m out. Take your time. If you don’t like the idea then we’ll think of something else.”As I crossed to the door, Pete was staring at the computer screen as if it was an unexploded bomb. It was time to deliver what I hoped would be the killer line.“And of course they’re used to people being in the room when they’re fucking. There’d be no problem at all if you wanted to watch or join in. It’s.
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