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“I like you, Steve. You’re a lot of fun.” My mind tried to add, “For a kid.” But she continued, “Would you like to stay the night?” I’m glad I didn’t have anything in my mouth. Suddenly, I realized I was just sitting there staring at her and hadn’t answered. Shit, how long had it been? “Umm, sure,” I almost stuttered. Thank God, that didn’t happen. I was being enough of a dork already. She smiled and looked down at the couch between us, then slid over into that space, placing her left leg over my right. Then she took my right hand which was still on the back of the couch into both of hers.Looking at my hand, tracing it with her fingertips, she asked, “You’ve never been with a woman, have you?” Shit, was it that obvious? Of course, it was. Dork! My mind churned through all my “conquests” until I admitted to myself that I had none. “No, just making out,” I confessed. “Let’s change that tonight,” she said in a soft, sultry voice. Fuck, my hand was shaking. Fuck, my. 9. QUIET PLEASE ... WHILE OTHERS ARE PREPARING.10.DON'T TAKE EXTRA STROKES.WELL DONE ... NOW, FLUSH THE URINAL, GO OUTSIDE, AND TEE OFFDid I read that sign right?In an office:TOILET OUT OF ORDER ... PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOWIn a Laundromat:AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUTIn a London department store:BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRSIn an office:WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKENIn an office:AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARDOutside a second-hand shop:WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?Notice in health food shop window:CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESSSpotted in a safari park:ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CARSeen during a conference:FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOORNotice in a farmer's field:THE FARMER ALLOWS.
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