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I sensed that both these girls liked me and found me attractive and were therefore flirting with me. Although I have had some girlfriends, my sexual experience is pretty pathetic; amounting to touching a bare breast during a session of heavy kissing and then being told by my now ex-girlfriend to stop. The first drinks were pretty well gone so we decided to have seconds. Rina, ever the sensible one, said we had better bring some food as she knew you shouldn’t drink on an empty stomach.When we returned with new drinks and some chips and fruit the conversation started up anew.”Did you know that Debbie really likes Scott?” Rita said. Debbie was a mutual friend, a petite redhead, in the same year as Rita, but a little older; I played sports with her brothers. “I suspected as much because at their party she was always trying to sit beside him. Does he like her?” I said. “Don’t know.” The three of us had recently been at a party given by Debbie’s older brothers. “Now promise you won’t tell. Carmine was just watching me, his eyes giving nothing away. I had to ask."Can I ask how you feel about me, Carmine?"Carmine continued to look at me, his eyes giving away nothing. As I began to fidget, nervously awaiting his answer, he rose and walked toward the window looking out toward the street. He began, his back to me and his posture reflecting a sort of firmness. Maybe he was about to tell me that he no longer had any feelings for me. Well, I wouldn't be surprised and I wouldn't blame him. But that's not what he said."Nancy, how I feel is rather complicated. I never stopped loving you or Ruben when I made my decision to go to jail. I did that for the reasons I gave you. I believed I was doing the right thing for us as a family. I did that out of love for both of you. You have to understand that."But, at the same time, even though I took responsibility for putting you in a position to cheat on me, I still fail to understand why you did that. I have finally found peace with.
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