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I was with a bunch of buddies watching some of the college games on a Saturday afternoon and we had been drinking ever since they started. Oh, yeah, the East Coast games can sometimes start at 9am on the West Coast so we started early. ‘Hello, Marie, do you know who this is?’ I heard a chuckle and then this: ‘Being drunk doesn’t change your voice, John.’ Was I slurring my words? Damn! She’s good! ‘I was hoping to ask you out for a drink tonight. What do you think? Want to grab a beer down at Jimmy’s?’ It was one of the local bars on the ‘Ave’, which was a main street just off the UW campus. It had several blocks that consisted of small stores, restaurants, and bars that were almost completely supported by the university students. ‘I’m studying for my Algorithms class right now. I don’t think so.’ ‘C’mon. You have to take a break at some point. Come out for a couple of beers and relax.’ I was always hoping for more, of course. I was, after all, a single, drunk, horny male. ‘Okay.. Wednesday, we were in the waiting room. Alone. I thought he’d schedule others in, but he didn’t. It was just us. He did admit he was catching up on some paperwork prior to a short vacation, though.He drew blood, had her in a gown, and did a complete physical on her, to include that little spot I showed her up inside her bottom. Her grunt got his attention. Trying to lighten the mood, he said, in a most unprofessional manner, “That’s what they all say. Then they never call back.” Gloria laughed and the pressure pushed his finger out.“OK, Glorious, Pattycakes. Time for the magic moment. I need a sperm sample. I’m going to leave it to you two, and please do your best. I know this it not something you would talk about in front of many people, but Gloria, what I did, if you can manage it somehow, will help, and would be a benefit for a better sample. It’s just the way of the world. It would help to make sure you don’t have to come back so often maybe. Just sayin’. Rubber gloves are on the.
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