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When I was born, I was given a choice: a big pecker and a long tongue “or” a good memory ... I don’t remember what I chose.2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.4. Impotence: nature’s way of saying, “No hard feelings...”5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - ‘don’t’ and ‘stop’, unless they are used together.6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.7. There are three stages in a man’s life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.8. Virginity can be cured.9. Virginity is not dignity, it’s lack of opportunity.10. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don’t have a good partner, you better have a good hand.11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dial were too small.12. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.13. Question: What’s an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss,. She nodded. Kate patted the seat between us and said that if she wanted a bit of company she was welcome to join us.It turned out that her name was Tina and that she was over here from Dublin with some friends on a hen night (as if that wasn't obvious from the t-shirt!) But, and here she was remarkably frank and unabashed, the other girls had gone in search of guys to have a bit of fun with, but she didn't feel like joining them because she was gay.“I don't mean to shock you,” she said, “but I can see you two are really into each other, so I know you won't mind me telling you this.”Kate laughed. “Honey,” she said, “I didn't realise it was that obvious. But really we haven't been together, if I can put it like that, for much more than an hour. We're both straight, or at least we thought we were, but we've just been having a little fun together for the first time.”“Wow, that is so cool,” Tina said. “I'd have had you down as a real loved-up pair of grade A lesbians. I guess you liked.
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