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But just then, she got real serious and wanted to talk about herappointment the morning with my doctor and nurse. I got a little nervouswith her serious manner. Cathy explained that my treatment is goingwell, but not progressing as fast as they thought. This disease mighttake longer to cure than expected. The doctor was thinking it might takeup to 2 years of treatment to beat this Feminizer disease. She hugged mesaying whatever happens she is with me and loves me very much. She willhelp me through this disease and will support me whatever way it turnsout.I had mixed emotions hearing her talk. I loved my new life as a woman,all the girly talk and having no responsibilities anymore. I loved theclothes and being so carefree. But on the other hand, what about Cathy,can she handle not having a husband, a man in her life? Could I handlebeing a woman the rest of my life?I got emotional and started crying. Cathy was so comforting, telling mejust what I wanted to hear. She will support me in. The silence is deafening.I miss my wife, greeting me with a kiss, hearing her say, "I've missed you so much, I'm glad you're home." I climb the stairs to our bedroom and sit on our bed, listening to you breathe. It's the most wonderful sound in the world.I undress and shower. Climbing under the covers, I move over close to you and find you lying on you side, your back to me. Leaning over you I kiss your shoulder, my fingers softly touching your soft skin. I whisper, I love you Tammy, I can only hope you love me as much. My lips kiss you're soft neck. Murmuring, you turn onto your back. I whisper, "Tammy, ' are you awake?" uhuh," My lips touch your soft breast, I love you sweetheart, more than anything in this world, I want you to know this."Sleepily she reply's "I love you to honey. I miss you when you're not here to go to bed with me. I miss being in your arms. I miss being able to kiss you and having you kiss me. I miss all of these things. I need you to hold me now. I need to feel.
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