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The way she'd get alluptight and nervous whenever anyone asked her when we were going to start afamily, heck, even the look of detached calm that she'd had the first timewe talked about it, just after our honeymoon.It was kind of funny actually - Karen was great with children, although shealways protested the fact vehemently. And she had plenty of brothers andsisters; truthfully, I'd been overwhelmed the first time I'd met all ofthem at one of her family reunions.But I still had a hunch that my wife was scared of getting pregnant.Biting my lip, I glanced down at my pajama-clad stomach."You know, we don't even have the money to raise a baby right now, and weboth are" I paused, "well, hopefully going to have full-time jobs, so it'snot like there'd be anyone to take care of you," I muttered, still staringdown at the flat slenderness of my stomach, which, like most stomachs,didn't say much."And besides, Karen and I were planning to wait a few years before..." Itrailed off, my gaze. I guess I shouldn’t assume things like that. The way you flirted and talked to me….well I took that to mean that maybe just maybe you had some of the same sort of feelings as me. I guess I may have been over zealous in my thought process. Oh well, it’s too late now to take the stuff back. I guess I just have to live with the consequences. I am just sitting here waiting on some sort of sign from you. A call. A letter. A visit. Anything. Then again I may not want to hear what you have to say. Or maybe I will just have to wait till later today or maybe several days, depending on how you feel and what you want to say to me. And if you ever want to see me again. You may not after I have opened my mouth and inserted my big foot. The things running through my head now are doubt, fear, shame, and sheer embarrassment. I wanted to tell you what I felt. I wanted you to know just what you did to me. I didn’t know how else to say it. I couldn’t just blurt it out. I am way too shy and awkward to.
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