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“Since the birth of our fifth daughter, Lydia, the door between our bedrooms has remained locked. We both felt that it would be for the best. That was some fifteen years ago.”“My dear Mrs Bennet,” said Doctor Palmerston with an expression of horror, “that, I fear, explains much of the problem. Regular penetration by the male member is extremely important in maintaining a healthy constitution, especially for ladies in the prime of life such as yourself. I would wager, Mrs Bennet, that you are not yet thirty-five.”Mrs Bennet simpered with pleasure. “I was forty at my last birthday,” she said proudly. “I was not yet eighteen when Mr Bennet led me to the altar, and our oldest daughter, Jane, was born the following year. We have now been married for some twenty-three years.”“I fear then that your husband has been neglecting you shamefully. For medical reasons, I fear that it may be necessary for me to provide the release that you so sorely need.”To Mrs Bennet’s surprise, the doctor then. Schumer asked the class for an example of a ‘Tragedy’.A little boy stood up and offered: ‘If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy.‘Incorrect,’ said Schumer. ‘That would be an accident’.A little girl raised her hand: ‘If a school bus carrying fifty children drove over a cliff, killing everybody inside, that would be a tragedy.’‘I’m afraid not’, explained Schumer, ‘that’s what we would refer to as a great loss’.The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Schumer searched the room‘Isn’t there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?’Finally, at the back of the room, little Johnny raised his hand and said: ‘If a plane carrying you and Mrs. Pelosi and The Trumps and Mrs. Clinton was struck by a ‘friendly fire’ missile & blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy’.‘Fantastic’ exclaimed Schumer, ‘and can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?’‘Well’, said Johnny, ‘It has to.
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