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It smelled good, just like him. I glanced at the front and saw it was an NU sweatshirt. ‘Thanks. So you went to NU?’ He turned the car on and pulled out as he smiled to himself. ‘Yeah four years of fun. I loved it there.’ ‘That’s where I’m looking to go in the fall. I’m just waiting on my letter. I’m supposed to get it in a few weeks.’ ‘That’s exciting. You’re going to love college. It’s the best.’ ‘I don’t think I will,’ I replied unsure. He looked surprised by my answer. ‘Why wouldn’t you? It’s a time empty of responsibility. You get to do whatever you want. It’s the ultimate freedom.’ I shifted a little turning towards him. ‘Yeah but freedom for what? If you haven’t noticed I’m not exactly a party girl. I’ll probably spend four years with my head in a book praying for it to be over.’ ‘Have you ever tried that… I mean you know being social with the parties and popularity?’ I shook my head. ‘Not really. I mean it’s not that I can’t talk to people or anything. And it’s not like I. Something in the wind knows me better than I do.’ ‘Man, you’re either drunk or crazy.’ she understated. ‘No, that’s it I mean’ he continued ‘I’ve been thinking and I think that how I love her and how she loves me exists on some kind of special plane…’ She couldn’t resist. ‘A 747?’ ‘Stoppit. Ugh. I mean that I guess I’m at that age where I’ve lost so much I can’t afford to lose any more.’ ‘What does that mean?’ ‘I guess it means I’m making some sort of a stand. I guess it means I don’t want to be a loser.’ She exhaled. ‘Well that’s genuinely good. If you really mean it.’ ‘What it it also means is that I want her to be what she needs to be, do what she needs to do in order to get better, become herself again. I just hope I have the strength.’ ‘You’re a strong man, when you wanna be.’ She could almost hear him grimace. ‘Yeah well that works both ways, don’t it?’ ‘Like everything.’ ‘Yeah.’ She hopefully grinned into the phone again. ‘Are you ok now? Are you going to be ok?’ ‘Yeah yeah,.
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